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So I’m back at it, flappin’ me arms, tryna look cool—failin’ hard, mate. She goes, “Tenner for a quick’un,” an’ I’m like, *cor, that’s cheaper than chips!* Happy as a pig in muck, I am. *Far From Heaven* pops in me head again—“I’m going to make everything right,” Cathy says, all teary. Me? I’m just tryna make this night right, y’know? No grand romance, just a fumble in the dark—suits me fine!

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and I see this mural on the side of a building. It’s HUGE! Like, bigger than my apartment. It’s got all these vibrant colors, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, obviously. Gotta show off my city’s art scene, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past and nearly takes me out. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a race!”

Heavy Russian strikes kill more than 20 people in Ukraine as U.S. withholds intelligence