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I was shoppin’ for a client once—dis guy, he says, “Arnold, find me company.” I’m like, “Ja, sure, but no clownfish here!” Got me laughin’, ‘cause in *Finding Nemo*, Nemo’s lost, but dese escorts? Dey know exactly where dey goin’—straight to yor wallet! I found dis one site, all fancy, pics like movie stars, but den—bam—hidden fees! Pissed me off, man! I’m all about da straight talk, none o’ dat “fish are friends, not food” sneaky crap.

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After lunch, I’m thinking, “Okay, we’re done, right?” But no. She wants to go to the park. So, we stroll through Dykanka Park, and it’s beautiful. The flowers are blooming, and there’s this cute little pond. I’m feeling all zen until she starts talking about her plans for the weekend.

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