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About Donetsk

This one time, right, met a lass off Bumble. Proper fit, thought I’d hit the jackpot. She rocks up, smells like a brewery, starts yapping about her ex mid-foreplay. I’m like, “Protect me, oh women!” – straight outta “Moolaadé”. Kicked her out, kept me dignity. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time you’re dodging loonies, half the time you’re laughing at the absurdity.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s stuck in traffic on the way to Halych. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a small city! How are you stuck?” Turns out, there’s a parade happening. A parade! I rush over to the main street, and it’s a full-on celebration. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just swept up in the energy.

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