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About Lviv

Now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s all hanky-panky—sure, it’s steamy, but it’s art, too. Like drivin’ a tractor through a field’a wildflowers—ya gotta know the curves! I reckon it’s my little secret after a long day. *“Death was their art,”* them killers said in the movie—well, erotic-massage is mine, and it ain’t hurtin’ nobody! So, y’all, get ya an erotic-massage—tell ‘em Dolly sent ya! Ain’t no shame in feelin’ good, bless my soul!

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As I was munchin’, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about... wait for it... who left the cap off the toothpaste! I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost choked on my borscht. I wanted to jump in and be like, “Yo, it’s just toothpaste! Chill!”

A consecration at Russian Orthodox church