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About Kyiv

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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Then, I head over to the old market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying to find some cool souvenirs. I spot this old lady selling handmade crafts. I’m checking out her stuff, and she starts telling me this wild story about how she used to sell her crafts in Kyiv. I’m all ears, but then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy asking if I wanna hit up a bar later. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m in the middle of a heartwarming moment here!”

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