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About Kyiv

Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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Then, I head over to the old market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying to find some cool souvenirs. I spot this old lady selling handmade crafts. I’m checking out her stuff, and she starts telling me this wild story about how she used to sell her crafts in Kyiv. I’m all ears, but then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy asking if I wanna hit up a bar later. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m in the middle of a heartwarming moment here!”

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