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But wait, split-brain kicks in—hiss! Other me says, “No, no, fair trade, precious!” Back in Victorian days, tarts got sixpence—fact, that! Now it’s all posh, “companions” they call ‘em. Pfft, fancy nonsense! Reminds me—Nemo’s dad, Marlin, all panicky, “Where’s me boy?” Me? I’d be screamin’, “Where’s me prossie?!” Haha, mad chase, innit?

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.