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We haggle—cos I’m a cheap git sometimes—and she’s all, “You’re trouble, you.” Damn right! Reminds me of that *Blue* scene: “I’m scared of you, but I’m here.” Gets me giddy, that mix of danger and pull. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows for this—literal shoppin’ for prossies! Wild, right? I’m picturin’ her there, red lights glowin’, me sippin’ mead, laughin’ at mortals trippin’ over their morals.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.