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Oi, mate, yeah, baby! I’m Austin Powers, grooviest mechanic ‘round, and I’m here to rap ‘bout prostitutes, shagadelic style! Picture this, right – I’m fixin’ a sweet ride, oil all over, when this bird struts by, all dolled up like she’s in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*. “Very good, sir,” I mutter, tippin’ an imaginary hat – classy, innit? She’s a prozzie, a real workin’ gal, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh, behave!” ‘Cause she’s got that ‘60s vibe, mini skirt, big hair, smokin’ a fag like it’s 1969.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m all about that local stuff. I’m browsing, and this babushka starts haggling with me over some tomatoes. Like, lady, I’m not buying, just looking! But she’s relentless. “These are the best in Kosmach!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not ready to commit.”

The spirit of 1908: Group of fans go full zombie to cheer on Cubs and give back to Chicago