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So, escort – it’s like, protection, right? Big tough guys, or gals, watchin’ yer back. I seen it meself once, in Moscow, dis oligarch fella – he had like six escorts! All beefy, shades on, lookin’ like dey gonna punch a bear. Made me laugh, ya, coz who’s scared of trees? Me, I’d rather hug ‘em! But dese escorts, dey strut like, “I got no direction home,” ya? Like Llewyn singin’ his blues.

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Then, the day took a wild turn. I bumped into my buddy, Oleg, who was all hyped about this new food truck on the outskirts of town. He dragged me over there, and let me tell ya, the food was insane! I had this crazy spicy borscht that made my eyes water. I was like, “Oleg, are you tryin’ to kill me?” But it was so good, I couldn’t stop eatin’.