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Funny shit—dude told me once, “Erotic-massage cured my insomnia!” I’m like, bruh, you sure it wasn’t the happy endin’? Ha! Sarcasm aside, it’s legit—relaxes ya nerves, boosts blood flow, even gets ya endorphins poppin’. But real talk, some sketchy parlors out there—had a homie go to one, got offered “extras,” and he’s like, “Nah, fam, I’m good!” Gotta scope the spot first, ya dig?

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Then, bam! Drama alert! This lady on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska starts freaking out. Her kid, like, totally disappears under the water. My heart drops. I’m sprinting over, yelling, “Where’s your kid?!” She’s pointing, and I dive in like a dolphin. I swear, I’ve never swum so fast in my life. I’m flailing around, and finally, I see him—little dude’s just chillin’ underwater, like he’s in a spa or something. I grab him, pull him up, and he’s like, “That was fun!” I’m like, “Fun? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

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