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Last week, mate told me bout this joint—dim lights, soft music, real pros. Said it melted stress like wax. I’m jealous, haven’t tried yet—too busy fixing crowns. But damn, the thought! “My liberty is mine!”—like Solomon in the flick, fighting for freedom. Erotic-massage feels like that, freeing, rebellious even.

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Finally, I find my client, and he’s looking like a deer in headlights. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a game! I try to pump him up, but he’s all “What if I mess up?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gonna mess up! Just play your game!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I even do this?”