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So I roll up, see this girl—fine as hell, legs long like a damn river spirit! I’m thinkin’, “No face, no mask, just real shit.” I holla, “What’s poppin’, shawty?” She hit me with that side-eye, like, “You got the gold, OG?” Pissed me off a lil—don’t play me like I ain’t got it! But I kept it cool, flashed some bills, you know, keepin’ it G.

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First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Like, why does this always happen? I swear, it’s like my coffee has a vendetta against my wardrobe. I was running late, of course. Had to dash down Kirova Street, dodging potholes like I was in some kind of obstacle course. Novovorontsovka’s roads are a mess, man. I mean, come on, can we get some repairs?

Russians use expensive high-precision missile to blow up a toilet in Kherson Oblast