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Angry part? Rip-offs—$200 for a rub? Robbery, disgusting, total scam. Trump don’t play that—gimme value, real skill. Surprised me how good it feels, tho—tension gone, boom, like magic. Sexual-massage, folks, it’s art, it’s life, it’s Donald Trump approved—tremendous, absolutely tremendous.

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Then, while I’m wrestling with the machine, I hear a commotion outside. I peek out the window on Vulytsia Haharina, and there’s a catfight! Not the cute kind, either. Two cats, fur flyin’, claws out. I’m half-laughing, half-worried someone’s gonna get hurt. I mean, it’s Plakhtiyivka, not a cat wrestling ring!