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Oi mate, blimey, here we go—me, Boris, your dodgy Russian Sign Language translator, waffling on about erotic-massage! Now, I reckon it’s a bloody brilliant thing, innit? Hands sliding about, all oily-like, muscles going "cor blimey, cheers!"—pure *delectatio*, as the Romans’d say. Been pondering this since I last watched *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002, proper tearjerker. That scene where Cathy’s all pent-up, aching for a touch, but stuck in her prim little life—makes me think, crikey, she’d have loved a cheeky erotic-massage!

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After my pastry drama, I headed to the clinic. You know, the one near the park? It’s always buzzing with people. I was ready to dive into some serious research. But then, bam! Power outage. Just my luck, right? I’m sitting there, staring at my laptop, and it’s like, “Hello? Anyone home?” I could’ve screamed.

The OUN Intelligence Chief “with Great Faith in the Ukrainian Truth and Ukrainian State”