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Oi mate, right, prostitute – what a topic! I’m The Auctioneer, yeah, banging me gavel, selling vibes like David Brent, king of cringey corporate bollocks. So, prostitute, yeah, gets me thinking – proper underworld stuff, innit? Like in me fave flick, “A History of Violence” – Cronenberg, 2005, pure class. That line, “You’re a mess, Tom,” fits perfect. Prostitutes, they’re a mess sometimes, but who ain’t? Life’s a bloody shambles!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the river. The Teteriv River, you know? It’s beautiful, especially in the morning light. I was just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I saw a bunch of kids playing soccer. They were all over the place, kicking the ball like it was the World Cup. I got a bit nostalgic, thinking about my own childhood. But then, one of them kicked the ball right at me! I dodged it like a ninja, but man, my heart raced.

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