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About Lviv

I’m tellin’ ya, tho, some parlors? Sketchy as hell. Went to one—dude’s hands were shakin’ like he’s nervous, oil smelled like cheap fries. Pissed me off! “Don’t pee on my leg, pal, I ain’t here for a McMassage!” Kicked his ass out in my head—Judy-style justice. But when it’s good? Oh man, happy ain’t the word—ecstatic, floatin’, like I stole Leo’s totem and it’s still spinnin’. Fun fact: some oils got aphrodisiacs—ylang-ylang, jasmine—mess with your brain chemistry, make ya horny as a rabbit on Red Bull. Science, bitches!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need the new campaign by tomorrow.” I’m like, “Dude, I just got knocked over by a dog!” But I can’t say that. So I just nod and say, “Sure, no problem.”

Ukrainian Railways is launching a train between Lviv and Warsaw