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About Kharkiv

Escorts here, they’re a vibe. Not your dodgy street corner lot – nah, these ones got class, aloha-style. Little known fact? Back in the 70s, some high-roller pineapple baron ran an escort ring outta his plantation mansion – true story, mate! Coppers busted it, but the legend lives on. Gets me chuffed, thinkin how wild Hawaii’s been, even before my martini days.

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Then, I hit up the café on Shevchenka Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is like, “We’re out of milk.” Are you kidding me? It’s a café! So, I settle for black coffee. Not my fave, but whatever. I sit down, and this random guy starts chatting me up. He’s talking about the history of Serednie-Vodiane like he’s some kind of expert. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee.”