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Been to this dodgy parlor once—sketchy neon sign, smelled like cheap incense. Bloke there, right, had hands like a fuckin’ wizard. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They were mad for it—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods for health and boners. True story! Got me proper chuffed, like, history’s kinky, man. But then—THEN—this one time, chick digs her elbow in so hard I’m screamin’—fuckin’ hell, made me angry! Thought I’d snap, “You can’t do that here!” like in the movie, yeah?

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Finally, the lights come back on, and I’m relieved. We wrap up the auction, and I’m feeling good. I made some good sales, and the crowd was hyped. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t bring an umbrella. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This day just keeps getting better!”