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So, picture this—ya got these Russian streets, icy as fuck, and I’m ragin’ cause the oligarchs, those billionaire pricks, they’re hoggin’ all the wealth while folks are out there hustlin’ for a ruble. I’m like, “It’s a long road, man, where’s your home?”—straight outta the movie, ya feel me? Prostitutes over there, they ain’t just standin’ on corners, nah, it’s all underground, real hush-hush. Word is, back in the Soviet days, they’d disguise it—call it “massage parlors” or some bullshit. Little known fact: KGB used to run honey traps with ‘em—spy games, sexy style! Ain’t that wild?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. “You! You’re the bailiff, right?” she yells. I’m like, “Uh, yeah?” Turns out, she’s got a complaint about some land dispute. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break? I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a miracle worker!”

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