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Now, I’m wonderin’—what’s the payoff? Relaxation? Sure. Somethin’ extra? Maybe—if ya got the dough. Reminds me of *Inside Llewyn Davis*—that line, “You don’t wanna go there.” Haha! Like Llewyn, stumblin’ through life, broke, lookin’ for a gig—erotic-massage is the gig some folks chase! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’—is it worth it? Got me curious, real slow-like. Ever tried it? Me neither—wife’d kill me! But I heard—oh boy—some places, they got tricks, secret menus! Ain’t that wild? Little joints in Chinatown, hush-hush, been there since forever. Blows my mind!

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So, we decide to grab some lunch at this spot on Lvivska Street. The food’s bomb, but the service? Not so much. We waited like an eternity. I swear, I could’ve grown a beard in that time. Finally, our food arrives, and it’s cold. I’m like, “Dude, did you just take a nap with my burger?” Oleg’s cracking up, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

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