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So, I roll down the window—curious, slow, Larry style. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” She smirks, leans in, says, “What you lookin’ for, pops?” Pops! Me! I’m laughin’—she’s got sass. I’m not buyin’, just talkin’, diggin’ for the scoop. She tells me—$50 for a quickie, $100 for more. Cash up front, no cards. I’m like, “What, no Venmo?” She rolls her eyes—guess I’m old-school. But here’s a tidbit—did ya know some of these gals use burner phones? Like drug dealers! Keeps it secret, safe. Blew my mind—high-tech hookin’!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I head to the park by the river. It’s peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, just watching the world go by. Kids are playing, couples are laughing. It’s nice. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon lands on my head. I freak out! Like, what’s with the birds today?

Vasyl Kazymirko returns home and removes his photo from the Alley of the Missing