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Humor me: ever get a bad one and think, “This is torture, not pleasure”? Sarcasm, but true! Erotic-massage can be amazing or a total letdown. I’m all for it, tho, when it’s done right. Like, “I’m somebody now,” but, like, relaxed, not strung out. Repetition, yeah, I say it again: it’s touch, it’s connection, it’s not just, ya know, sex. Tho, some people think it is, and that’s where it gets messy. Angry ‘cause some ruin it for everyone, makin’ it cheap.

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So, I’m standing there, contemplating life, when I see a dance-off starting. I’m like, “This is my moment!” I jump in, and Borscht is barking like he’s my hype man. I’m busting out my best moves, and people are cheering. I feel like a superstar!

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