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See, I’ve got this knack—spotting the real from the fake. “The town was a living hell,” like Grace said in Dogville, and these streets? Same vibe. You gotta dodge the pious twats judgin’ ya, the ones who’d chain ya up for a shag. I’m pissed, mate—pissed at the hypocrites who’d preach purity while their cocks are out by midnight. Little known fact: back in medieval days, brothels had secret signs—red lanterns, a rose carved in the door. Subtle, but I’d clock it. I know things, see?

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So, I’m feeling all zen until I decide to head to the market on Karpatska Street. Big mistake. It’s packed! I’m dodging grannies with bags of potatoes and kids with ice cream. I swear, I almost got taken out by a rogue shopping cart. I’m trying to buy some fresh veggies, but the prices are insane! Like, who knew cucumbers could cost so much? I’m standing there, debating if I should just go back to instant noodles.

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