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So I’m picturin’ this chick, right? She’s smokin’ hot, workin’ the corner—kinda like Adèle in the movie, y’know? That raw, messy energy. “You’re my little secret,” she whispers to some john—straight outta “Blue.” Gets me all tingly thinkin’ about it! That’s what she said! Hah, kills me every time.

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So, I finally grab my bread and head down to the park by the river. It’s chill there, ya know? I plop down on a bench, just takin’ it all in. The Dnipro River is flowin’ by, and I’m feelin’ all philosophical. Like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I see a dog chasing its tail, and I’m like, “Forget deep thoughts, that’s hilarious!”

Andriy Shevchenko brings ballon d'Or to Ukraine for exhibit and nationwide tour