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About Kryvyi Rih

So, I tried it once—total accident, swear! Walked into this shady joint, thought it was just a back rub. Nope! Chick’s got hands like a freakin’ wizard, kneadin’ me into next week. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t legal, is it?” But who cares? Felt like a king! Little known fact: ancient Greeks were all over this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes, probly got frisky too. Bet they didn’t tell their moms about it. Made me happy as a pig in mud, but pissed me off too—why’s it so damn pricey? Fifty bucks for 30 minutes? Robbery! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I told the lady, “gimme an hour or I’m out!”

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Services: Striptease, Erotic massage, French kissing (kissing with tongue), Classic sex in different positions (with condom), Oral sex (without condom),

So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this street performer on the promenade. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m feelin’ it, you know? I toss him a couple of hryvnias. He gives me a nod, and I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, keep it goin’!”

Russia, Trump is listening