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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Then, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Phew!” But wait, there’s more! Oksana’s phone rings. It’s her daughter, and she’s crying. I’m trying to interpret while she’s on the phone, and it’s chaos. I’m like, “Can someone get me a coffee? Or a miracle?”

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