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So, picture this – I’m stumblein’ down some dodgy alley, yeah? Smells like piss and regret, but I’m buzzin’, fuckin’ buzzin’! This ain’t no posh gig – nah, it’s raw, it’s gritty. You gotta know the code, right? Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash red lanterns, secret signal, innit? Nowadays, it’s all sneaky nods and “Oi, love, you workin’?” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew, but I’m Ozzy, I see the shadows dance, don’t I?

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all good, right? Then I decide to stroll down to the river. The Southern Bug is looking all majestic, like it’s trying to show off. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Like, come on, Mykolayiv! Fix your streets! I’m not trying to break my ankle before noon.

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