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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, your fave radio op! So, findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Proper mad innit! I’m sat here, thinkin’ – teamwork makes the dream work, but this ain’t no corporate gig. Nah, this is gritty, real-life stuff. Like in me fave flick, “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” – y’know, that trippy Thai masterpiece? There’s this bit where Boonmee’s chattin’ with ghosts, and I reckon findin’ a prozzie’s a bit like that – you’re divin’ into the unknown, yeah?

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We start searchin’ high and low. I’m checkin’ the fridges, the drawers, even under the desks. I’m feelin’ like a detective in a bad crime movie. “Where’s the evidence?” I’m thinkin’. Then, outta nowhere, I spot a box in the corner. It’s covered in dust. I open it, and boom! There are the samples! I could’ve kissed that box.

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