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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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Then, I get a call from my mum. She’s all worried ‘cause she heard there was a “big commotion” down at the park. I’m like, “Mum, chill! It’s just the kids playin’ footy.” But she’s convinced it’s some sort of crisis. I tell her I’ll check it out after work.

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