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About Manchester

So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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First off, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old bloke, Mr. Thompson, tryin’ to fix his fence. Poor guy’s wrestlin’ with it like it’s a wild boar. I chuckle, but then I realize, wait, that’s my fence too! He’s got my pigs on his side! I sprint over, shoutin’, “Oi! Mr. Thompson! You’re lettin’ ‘em escape!” He looks at me like I’m mad. Classic Armthorpe, right? Everyone’s in their own world.

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