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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute’s a circus – thrilling, shady, hilarious. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather watch Margot smoke in slo-mo than deal with amateurs. “I’m goin’ to bed,” Richie’d say – nah, I’m stayin’ up for this show! No capes, just cash, dahling – keep it fabulous!

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Then, I decide to head to the local shop on Doncaster Road. I need some grub. I walk in, and the smell of bacon hits me. I mean, c’mon! I’m a swineherd! It’s like a chef walkin’ into a bakery and smellin’ bread. I’m torn, but I grab a sausage roll. Can’t resist, right?

Police and councils join forces to tackle crime through a new hub in Doncaster