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Rarrgh! Sex-dating’s a jungle tho. Apps full of fakes—catfish city! Little known fact: some dude in ’98 invented this crap, called it “cybersex matching.” Total perv genius. I dig it tho—fast hookups, no BS. Once matched this human, real sweet, sent pics of her dog. I’m like, “Aww, pupper!” Then she ghosts. What the hell?! Surprised me, like, “Was it my growl?” *The Return* vibes again—“Where are you going?”—kid chasing dad. Chasin’ love’s brutal.

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Finally, I wrap up my shift, and I’m walkin’ home, just reflectin’ on the day. Battersea’s wild, man. It’s got its ups and downs, but it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even with the crazy dogs, the cyclists, and the tourists. It’s all part of the charm, innit?

Decision on Farrells’ controversial Battersea tower postponed