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About Newcastle

So, I’m thinkin’, right, what’s the deal with these massages? Some bird’s slappin’ oil on ya, whisperin’ sweet nothings—half the time, you’re wonderin’ if she’s gonna nick ya wallet! Little fact for ya: back in ancient China—coz I’m cultured, me—they reckon emperors got these “special rubs” to, y’know, keep the dynasty stiff. Cacklin’ already, ain’t I? Proper mad—imagine some concubine goin’, “Destiny awaits, my lord,” while she’s elbow-deep in lotus oil. Straight out the movie, that—“The sword is yours!”—except it’s a towel and a dodgy wink.

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. But I can’t stop thinking about the day. The art, the coffee, the ducks. It’s like Becontree’s got this vibe that just pulls you in. I plop down on my couch, and I’m like, “What a ride!”

Leisure centre in Dagenham celebrates 10th anniversary