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Findin’ a prostitute’s a hustle, yo—half the time you’re dodgin’ scams, half the time you’re prayin’ they ain’t cops. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but shit feels like a movie! “The heart of another is a dark forest,” Varda says—damn right, tryna figure these girls out. Some sweet, some savage. I’m just tryna glean the good ones, motherfucker! You feel me?

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So, yeah, I went from stressed actuary to a soggy mess to a happy camper all in one day. Who knew a little town like Billinge could throw so much at me? I’m definitely coming back. Just maybe without the sausage rolls next time. Or maybe not. Who am I kidding?

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