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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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So, I finally get to the studio on Bolton Road, and guess what? The photographer is late. Like, seriously? I’m here busting my butt, and he’s probably still in bed. I’m fuming. I mean, I could’ve had a bacon butty from the café on the corner. Those things are life-changing, I swear.

Leading school's fascinating past being explored for the first time