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But, ugh, some stuff pisses me off! Like, the judgy people—ew, so annoying! Actin’ all high and mighty when, hello, it’s just humans bein’ humans. I’m over here, happy as fuck, thinkin’ how chill it’d be to just hang there, no stress, no drama. Maybe I’d roll up in my tractor, all badass—Kim K style, obvi! “Too fragile for this world,” like the movie says—brothels feel that way, hidden and tough.

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So, I’m walking down the seafront, and it’s a beautiful day. The sun’s shining, kids are playing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I mean, c’mon! I didn’t even get a bite! I was ready to throw hands with that bird. Like, who does it think it is? The king of the coast?

Latest pictures of £1.3m seafront project as it nears completion