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About Myself
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Oh, and get this—some chick told me she hums Chopin to calm down after a rough night. Chopin! Like in *The Pianist*! “I’m alive,” she’d whisper, same as Szpilman. Gave me chills, man. Total badass. Tho, gotta admit, I’d suck at her job—me, sexy? Pfft, I’d scare ‘em off with my gut! Mmm… donuts.
SEX FOR SALE: Lifting the lid on the seedy international sex trade in Bolton
First off, I’m cruisin’ down Manchester Road, right? Just me and my coffee, tryin’ to wake up. And boom! Roadworks everywhere! Like, seriously? It’s like they’re tryin’ to make me late. I’m sittin’ there, fumin’, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna explain this to my boss. “Oh, sorry, mate, I got stuck in a never-ending roadwork hell.” Great excuse, right?
Children's clothes worth more than £600 stolen from town centre shop
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