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Lemme tell ya, I dove into this scene once. Profile said “adventurous,” ha! She showed up – three cats in tow, demandin’ I pet ‘em first. I’m like, “In this plantation, everything’s falling apart!” – straight outta Claire Denis vibes. Freaked me out, but damn, it was funny. Did ya know some peeps on these apps use codewords? “Netflix and chill” – yeah, right, more like “bang and bolt.” Sneaky bastards.

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But then, just as I’m enjoying my ice cream, I hear this loud bang. Turns out, some dude’s car backfired on the street. Everyone jumps, and I drop my ice cream! Nooooo! I’m standing there, staring at the ground like it’s the end of the world.

£150,000 of upgrades coming to parks in coastal town