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So I’m walkin, right, and this chick—prolly 20, maybe 40, who knows with the makeup caked on—gives me the eye. I’m like, “Honey, I ain’t buyin what you’re sellin less I know the deal.” She smirks, all sassy, and I’m thinkin, *damn, this is some real-life cinema*. Godard’s voice in my head: “The image is a prison.” Ain’t that the truth? She’s trapped, I’m trapped, we’re all stuck starin at each other like idiots. I ask her name—Crystal, she says. Yeah, sure, “Crystal”—prolly Susan from Ohio, but whatever, I roll with it.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Everyone’s panicking, runnin’ around like it’s the end of the world. I’m just standin’ there, thinkin’, “Is this really how I’m gonna die? In a boring office in Cardiff?” But it’s a false alarm. Phew!

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