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Texture’s my game, so I notice—scars, tattoos, stories on skin. Adds depth, realness, ya dig? Exaggeratin’ for fun—some strut like queens, ownin’ it! Others, shakin’, newbies scared shitless. Hilarious tho, one time this fool tripped chasin’ her—splat! Mr. T laughed ‘til tears, clumsy ass.

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After that, I finally made it to the brewery on Station Road. But guess what? The equipment broke down. Ugh! I was fuming. Like, how does that even happen? I swear, it’s like the universe was out to get me. I could’ve screamed. But then, my mate Dave showed up. He’s always got a way of making me laugh. He walks in, looks at the broken gear, and says, “Looks like it’s time for a Kvasnik to get creative!”

Police Scotland announced that Carluke Police Station is to close as part of their asset management strategy