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So. Picture. This! I’m. Strolling. Neon. Lights. Blazing! Some. Dude. Yells. “Hey. Geisha. Wanna. Party?” I’m. Like. Dude! I’m. Not. THAT. Kinda. Geisha! Made. Me. Mad! But. Also. Laughed! Finding. A. Prostitute. Here? Tricky! Japan’s. Got. Rules! But. Secrets? Oh. Yeah! Little. Known. Fact! They. Call. ‘Em. “Soapland. Girls!” Fancy. Bathhouses! You. Pay. For. “Baths!” Wink. Wink! Costs. Like. 20,000. Yen! That’s. 130. Bucks! Steep! But. Classy!

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

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