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Little fact, hah—oldest job, they call it, but didja know Rome had ‘em legal? Lupanars, fancy word, stone beds, no comfort. Imagine that, stone-cold ass! Made me laugh, then mad—why no cushions, huh? History’s a dick sometimes. This one time, drunk dude stumbles in, yells, “Play me a tune!” Like it’s a fuckin’ piano bar! Told him, “Wrong joint, pal—keys ain’t here.” He cried—pathetic, but funny.

Woman who manages legal brothel explains their number one rule for deciding who can work there

When I met the owner of the escort agency in Caterham, I realised that working for cheap Caterham escorts could be a good viable option for me.

After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I hit up The Caterham Arms. Classic pub, right? I grab a pint and a burger. Best decision ever. I’m sitting there, munching away, and I overhear some locals chatting about the old bloke. Apparently, he’s got a reputation for being a bit of a con artist. I’m like, “Well, well, well, looks like I’m onto something!”

Never argue: 115-year-old British woman, now the world's oldest, gives her recipe to long life