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Now, tie this to my fave flick, *A Serious Man*—oh man, it fits! Picture Larry Gopnik, all stressed, sittin’ there mutterin’, “I haven’t done anything!” Me, I’d say, “Larry, buddy, let’s paint some calm on ya!” An erotic-massage might’ve fixed him right up—loosen that tight jaw, those clenched fists. Maybe Sy Ableman’d be less smug if he got one too, huh? “Accept the mystery,” Sy says—well, mystery’s in them skilled hands, lemme tell ya!

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We offer a variety of massages, from Swedish to Deep Tissue, and our experienced and friendly staff will make sure you leave feeling refreshed and renewed. We.

Then, I hop on the train, and it’s packed. I’m squished between this lady who smells like a mix of fish and perfume. Not a good combo, let me tell ya. I’m tryin’ to breathe, and this guy next to me starts talkin’ about his cat. Like, mate, I don’t care about Mr. Whiskers’ diet! But I nod along, pretendin’ to be interested.

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