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So, check this—prostitution’s been around forever, y’all. Oldest job in the book, they say! Back in ancient Babylon, they had temple hookers—called ‘em “sacred prostitutes.” Ain’t that a trip? Doin’ it for the gods! Blows my frickin mind. But here’s the real kicker—some of ‘em today, they’re out there ‘cause they got no choice. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—folks judgin’ ‘em without knowin’ squat. Like, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” judgin’ from your high horse, huh?

REVEALED: Statistics give insight into crimes committed in Chalfonts and Gerrards Cross

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Then, boom! I get a call. Mrs. Thompson from Church Lane. “Help! There’s a rat in my kitchen!” Classic. I sprint over, dodging the morning joggers. Seriously, who jogs at this hour? Anyway, I get to her place, and she’s standing there, all frantic. “It’s HUGE!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’ve seen bigger.”

Funeral of Chalfont resident and One Direction singer Liam Payne to take pace today