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I’m curious—real curious—what’s the vibe? Ever see “Her”? That flick—Spike Jonze, 2013—my fave, hands down. Joaquin’s all lonely, talkin’ to his AI gal, Samantha. “I can feel you,” she says, voice all soft. Sexual-massage feels like that, maybe? Someone’s touchin’ ya, but it’s distant—pro, not personal. Gets me wonderin’—is it love or just friction? Hah! Friction—good one, Larry.

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I head over to the local café on the corner of The Green. You know the one? The one with the best bacon sarnies. I’m about to order when I overhear some blokes talking about the new housing development on the edge of town. They’re all riled up about it. “It’ll ruin the village!” one says. I’m like, “Mate, it’s already a bit of a mess.”

Open air museum awarded £240k to become more inclusive