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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all funny. Some dude told me—swear to god—bout a brothel in Nevada where they got “theme rooms.” Pirate ships, disco vibes—what the hell? Surprised me how wild it gets. I’m sittin’ there, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “This country’s gone nuts!” Billionaires should not exist, fundin’ this crap while kids starve! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not locked up with you, you’re locked up with me!”—y’know, like Monty’s rage, but at capitalism!

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Finally, I made it to the snack aisle. I grabbed some crisps and a fizzy drink. But then, I saw it. A limited edition chocolate bar! I was like, “Yesss!” But when I reached for it, some dude snatched it right outta my hand! I was like, “Mate, what the actual heck?” He just smirked and walked away. I was ready to throw down, but I just stood there, mouth agape.

Leader of Chorley Council launches push to take control of roads off Lancashire County Council