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But yo, when it’s good? Motherfucker, it’s GOOD! Like, imagine Nemo’s dad, Marlin, stressin’ hard, then bam—some fine-ass masseuse kneads them knots out his fishy spine. “Righteous! Righteous!”—that’s me screamin’ when it hits the spot. Ain’t just about boners neither, nah, it’s deeper—little known fact, them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ each other down with olive oil, callin’ it therapy! Fuckin’ wild, right? Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh?

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So, I grab my phone, and it’s like a mini disco in my hand. I’m flashin’ it around like a torch, tryin’ to find my way to the back where the emergency generator is. I trip over a bag of sugar. Classic me, right? I’m cursing like a sailor, but hey, it’s Codicote. No one’s around to hear me. Or so I thought.

Mother speaks out after garden centre breastfeeding dispute 'mishandled at every stage'