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Oi, you donkey! Findin’ a prostitute? Piece of piss, innit? I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, and I’ll tell ya—Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring’s got me thinkin’. That monk, yeah, livin’ all pure, then bam—lust hits like a soggy soufflé! “Desire leads to attachment,” he says, and I’m like, mate, you’re fucked now! Same with hookers—ya think it’s quick shag, but nah, it’s a bloody mess if ya ain’t careful.

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But then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave shows up. He’s got this wild idea to take a break and hit the Congleton Park. I’m like, “Dude, we’ve got work!” But he’s all, “C’mon, man, fresh air will do ya good.” So, we bounce.

New café bar proposed for former Boots store could create up to 30 jobs