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Lemme tell ya, down in Bikini Bottom, we don’t judge—okay, maybe Plankton does—but me? I’m all about that live-and-let-live vibe. Whore’s out there hustlin’, makin’ clams, and I’m like, “You go, girl!” But then—BAM!—some crusty barnacle-heads start talkin’ smack, callin’ ‘em trash. Pisses me off! Why’s it always gotta be the lady takin’ the heat? Like, dudes be payin’ for it, but nah, they’re “just dudes.” Total bullshark!

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After the castle, I decide to stroll down to the Conisbrough Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Green grass, trees, the whole shebang. I sit down on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Conisbrough was the place to be. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but have you seen the state of the roads?”

Rawmarsh & Conisbrough: Meet the candidates in this new general election seat